I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
being pregnant is like rehab
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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