I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
