Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
