At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
