can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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