I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
