its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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