I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
