Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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