I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
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