Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
my poor anus
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
