I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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