you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
