What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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