Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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