Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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