i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
