found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
