I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
