it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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