seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
