wat bout pragnant strippers??
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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