Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
