i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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