I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
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