i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
