So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
