need another drink. this is the easiest way
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
