Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
