I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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