i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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