this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
