Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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