It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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