hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
