It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
