I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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