i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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