Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
