Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
