So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
