I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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