so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
