Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He did a backflip because drugs
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