theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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