Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
