I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
