I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
