he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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