I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
