Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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